10 minutes till I sleep on a Thursday

Something
it trickles into evening
this weird certain
Some thing
makes for fuzzy light
how do i say
landing on soft grass
after a day in a tree
spying on turtles
seeing the moon on a lake
while Lou Reed changes my mind
just enough
that I put him back in the playlist
This isn't that
a reflection of the memory
of happy
not so highstrung
just a sweet plateau
where I can lean

bear hug

a psychic once told me
"you have a spirit hovering around you
I see a man, an older bearded man"
I thought it was my grandpa
(who I never met)
keeping tabs on his fourth's genes
handsome in that picture
he looked right through me
later
(when I was reading a lot of science fiction)
I thought it was a man
I could only meet
using a time machine
that perhaps we held hands
covered in space
later
(when my heart was broken)
I was sure it was an enemy
a poltergeist jealous of love
who cut my hair
who hated me
later
(when my heart was shattered)
I was sure it was an angel
Naked and dark winged
even in the light
who did not weep as he slept on my back
through that horrible night
now
(when I walk the streets alone)
I can feel him lumbering in his bear coat
his shadow tickling my knee
I'll keep him
there is nothing else to do

but if you see him
don't be too scared
or try feed him

he will always  be there
and if I say so
he won't bite you

on the loom

i flew
like a crane
my neck stretched back
calling for calling for you you
through a night
stars and clouds
etched my flight
cold bursting with joy
i stretched my neck again
callingcalling you for you

tracing trees and their samurai leaves
with my wild eye
as i fly
color and breath bleed out

it is only you i long to see
stretched neck
i shout

when a tsunami froths over me
and in my glee
my wings long for sea
harden to fin
i dip again
last calling
for you
you
and i kamikaze in

guts

In the city
I'll take you
against the glass walls of money
in the alley between immigrant conglomerates
at the bottom of the pit where death had her way

In the jungle
you can have me
under raining leaves feeding their trees
on the backs of tigers tearing their meat
in the murky river
between piranha teeth

in the desert
we can wrestle
camouflaged by dunes
while angel mites meet us to drink
within the roots of dying palms
where lizards kiss tongue to tail
in a mirage
with chocolate that never melts
and our sunburns taste like freckles

in the mountains
you can watch me
as I melt snow with my breathe
carve out caves with my grip
my forever hair
tangled
in the nettled pines

And I will feel your eyes
like two black moons
leading me on the path
calling me to howl

new friends

a spy dances on pointed toe
keeping thought balloons from popping to soon
HisHer beret
captures and disguises
every sly glance
given or given away

Discreet impressions tikky typed in memory
waiting for a sexier scene
kissing for quiet
and laughing for fear
till here comes the secret in
cloak and mist
to the tune of a lonely whistle
Grabbed and bagged
ziplock for the 24 mile swim

we wait with cigarettes
for HisHer silent din

Wounded? Bleeding?  Last breaths?
It gives me such a thrill
but let me sleep
If there is a funeral tell me tomorrow.

lol in public places

honestly, and this is embarrassing
I thought we were having a conversation
I mean,
I know  I'm delusional
but there was a sparkler lit
in belief
and you know
those things seem to last forever
smoke and light so bright
it's like you're not really seeing it
but there it is
even when you blink
Just remembering
just now
I believe

I think the room is empty now
did you say goodbye?
all I hear is the echo of my
hello
lo

bored

Smash! Smashsmash!
Smash! Smash!
(pant pant)
Smash! Smash!
Smash!Smash!smashsmashsmash!
(pant pant! gigglesnort)
Smash!

first flight

I was flying through the air
wobbling
without gravity

taking me there
were 57 Koreans
naked
and official in red ties
eyes straight ahead
Assuring me
No plane needed
Fighting!
Only pray for this steady breeze

shiver at the nape
I only wanted to get there
I couldn't help but notice how funny we looked
with our feet in the air
do your best! work hard!
my brave pilots
take care of me

at the airport you walked right past
leaving a cold can
my last shot
you were sweet
but you weren't thirsty anymore
just confused
amused
love was little
in the face of truth

Weeping in my own fire
for my 57 Koreans
they fell from the sky
one by one
shock in their 3rd eye

Love Sick

Women in the light of a golden and holy laundramat
sweaters and jeans
knits and underwear
tide and comfort
eyes that love me
If you are dreaming then you should wake up now
because I will lose these mothers
their backs will turn
for reasons I know
and do not know
predator they can smell
just beneath the surface
you won't recognize me
I won't feel hungry
Before I leap
Blood streaming from square teeth
I look up in suprise
to see death in your eyes
Like a mean daddy
I betray you every time

She's always been a fighter

like Godzilla
I'm baby stepping
barely aware of all my murdering

sweet bunnies' silent screams
is it a sin that their fur tickles me?

My Fedex crush thinks I'm a creep

Looking at you is like seeing a white puffy cloud
rising up and up in a milk blue sky
What do I do with a white puffy cloud
except fall wet onto my head?
I fall for everything
with my tears pounding the way
and my hairdresser can't hide all my scars
But still
I like to look
I like to see you rise and billow
framing the city with unreliable comfort
It hits happiness, maybe the corner of

if I were a Louvin man

I've been told to seek my joy
let go of your worries and enjoy
My life so lucky
My life so free
 
so lucky  so lucky they say
and what I would do to be fenced in
to leave these playing fields
and just give in

So lucky so lucky they say
lucky as a spring day
with no trouble to hold you down
but baby oh baby they don't know
how loud the emptiness sounds

What I would give for old chains
that kept me home
I'm begging in the cold
No heart to warm me as I grow old

but momma I'm so lucky
got no debts to pay
and daddy I'm so free
don't nobody got a say

So here I'll sleep under the starry dark
dreaming of cages and locked hearts
and while I'm running free again
Just know I'm waiting for my luck to end.

not today but someday

I'm sitting in a pocket of my sneakers
silent still
without a smile in my heart

if it shatters don't come crying to me
you'll only cut your feet

it's gray here
and the stench of rubber
is refreshingly numbing

concrete on knuckle

Someone tie me down and
feed me grapes and aspirin
smash the tv
burn my books
fill my ears with shells
cover me with paper
blind me with ink
I don't want to know that time is passing
Stop time
Stop time
Stop time
until it's over
kill me until it's done

you should get some sleep

go through

I’m pacing    slowly

so 

slow

ly

eyes

wide

cannot 

shut

in black 

ness

that keeps

me 

quiet

going   through

so slowwly

i cannnot   see

it  ‘s  heavvy

bones

yell at

me

“stop moving”

shhhhhut up.

seizure

fit

masquerade

it

bite your 

pillow

and keep  

quiet

california roll

earth shakes mirrors sway
cannot catch my reflection
see you look away

d ance street

Heaven 

I'm in heaven 

help me..bitch

And the cares 

That hung around me 

Through the week 

Hooleyhoo, thank you!

Seem to vanish 

Like a gamblers 

Lucky streak 

It’s Joe! Hey Joe! It’s Trea!  Can you see me?

When we're out together 

Dancing cheek to cheek 

Yay Joe! 

Stand in the light!

It’s Trea, Joe!

Dance with me 

ilostmymyjobIhavetenkids

I want my arm about you 

Ididn’tdestroymymotherdontlookatme!

That charm about you 

fuckingundercoverfaggot

Will carry me through to 

achoo!

Heaven

it's the fever talking

I’m swollen

big boobs

big ass

big belly

thighs made of jelly

homemade clementine tangerine jam

spread thick and quick on the leg of a lamb

sacrificed at dawn at the foot of my bed

in ecstacy of death 

his eyes rolled back into his head

I’m sweating

wet hair

wet pussy

wet mouth

skin made of the south

warm sugar simmering into mass

cooled into shape and broken like glass

gluttons don’t mind the shards

thought it was forever

it was only yards

I’m blushing

red tongue

red breathe

red lips

can’t help the sway of my hips

wide eyed and weightless

stung and itching for bliss

tethered with a rope

made of feathers on fire

all heat and no hope

true stories

I’m dreaming

of mixmaster highways

he crumpled a piece of paper and let the wind carry it out

flying over the highest bridge

I watched and climbed out the window 

fuck him I don’t believe in the devil

of drowned cities

jumping impossibly from rooftop to rooftop

it was the most fun

I tried to feel sorry

secretly happy

even as the wave came 

and took out my favorite 

of planes crashing into icebergs

empty but for blue carpet

tan walls

white ice falling onto the ocean

with whales and wolves

leaping like dolphins

I knew it was the end

I could have stayed there forever

of towers crumbling over me 

ground falling up as I hang on in a red London bus

Keanu Reeves in Calvin Klein

painted on the tallest building

I prayed it would stay up

even as I died

he was so beautiful

the inside of god’s mouth 

looks like a chapel carved out of mud

the communicator

This is hard
this is fucking stupid
stupid fucking words

Essex and Delancy

Don’t let the crowd push you around

my dear my darling one

don’t let your head move from my shoulder

my love

my dove

I wear the day on my back

waiting to meet you

waiting for soft eyes

and whispering sighs

I only hold you

on the way home 

haiku'd #2

Sanctimonious

takes care of the first line, fine.

I feel full of it.

haiku'd

Outcome doesn’t look-

screw you stupid 8 ball! Guess

my Lucky number.

Rumble

started out small

with the old man swallowed in his  baseball hat

obviously talking out of his ass

couldn’t blame her when she planted her snow white flats

squared her hips and 

schooled him in a whip lash

watch out sister!

his lady tiny and mighty

quiet as a sleeping bear

just woke up to find her husband cub

flailing close to wailing

his defeat

syllables that stretch the ear in

between a semi and a wet towel

start curling out of her mouth

a low crumbling of vowels

to the snapping shriek of howls

thats when she sat next to me

my sister

not giving a shit about my lit cigarette

or that i just work here

back up

plain and simple

gave her what i could 

solidarity in not moving or inching away

even as her passion rose up

like gas on trash

could tell she didn’t know

what  she was saying

all the warriors started to look confused

but she trusted it would get the job done

shut them the hell up.

She bounded off the bench

pointing pointing so much pointing! to the apartment door

Is one of them a landlord?

has a delinquent child?

forgot to recycle?

(no they don’t recycle here)

Fire breathing mama! 

That’s right bitches! (sorry ma’m)

You just got the beat down, clown!

hips in over drive now as she struts off 

a few last turns to point      markedly

“I know. Oh I KNOW, what’s really going on here.

Sonofabitch!

Ruin my day ...   think you can tell me ...

I know what I know ... curses and demons on MY head?!

I ain’t afraid of your pussy demons ... OR your limp dick curses ...”

into the morning, until it was quiet at last.

Pretty certain that’s how it went.  I can’t be sure.  I don’t speak Chinese.

Snuck up

it came whirling gently up my skirt

nausea  sweat  pinched eyes

all fell back into a natural stance

as easy as breathing

used to be

when i noticed the calm

it placed a fat hand warm on my belly

toasted stars filled my eyes

breathing deeper but not easy 

just the same  
the more

making my neck work to diligence 

my head larger full of magic air

it curled each breast

settling there reattaching them 

kissing the skin new

it was not made for me 

i had no place at its birth

but it chose me all 

the same

all the more

inching up my throat
slipping past my lip 

echoing truth under my tongue
to reach my ears

it let go 

to cradle my heart 

so that i might rest