bear hug

a psychic once told me
"you have a spirit hovering around you
I see a man, an older bearded man"
I thought it was my grandpa
(who I never met)
keeping tabs on his fourth's genes
handsome in that picture
he looked right through me
later
(when I was reading a lot of science fiction)
I thought it was a man
I could only meet
using a time machine
that perhaps we held hands
covered in space
later
(when my heart was broken)
I was sure it was an enemy
a poltergeist jealous of love
who cut my hair
who hated me
later
(when my heart was shattered)
I was sure it was an angel
Naked and dark winged
even in the light
who did not weep as he slept on my back
through that horrible night
now
(when I walk the streets alone)
I can feel him lumbering in his bear coat
his shadow tickling my knee
I'll keep him
there is nothing else to do

but if you see him
don't be too scared
or try feed him

he will always  be there
and if I say so
he won't bite you