boxer's lament

Honey
I am not afraid of you
go ahead
take a swing
I've already been loved
to death
I dance like a ghost here
background music
for the sight impaired
It'll take a hairier hand
than some sad song
to bring this life
back to breath
Go on
turn on your dime
life is short
and lips divine
I'll blow you dead kisses
as you run scared
somewhere
laugh at the memory
of him
hoping for blood
and finding dead air

tenant

Mmm, I forget that I have neighbors.

Yes.

I forget to say Goodmorning as they walk their dog.

Yes.

I forget that my arms are just arms and my toes add up to ten.

Yes.

I have to make an effort and I forget that is not special.

Yes.

I get lost in the foreplay and never want it to end.

Yes.

I think that standing behind a fig leaf will cover my indecency.

Yes.

I am grateful for black, and yellow and india ink on paper  but my joy makes me greedy.

Yes.

Greed makes me shameful.

yes.

Shame makes me nervous.

yes.

Nervous isn't neighborly.

No, it really isn't.

every body

Everybody is so beautiful tonight
I see you
Pretty air glides past and stares
I face home
because I don't know where else to look
I fall step to step
like clumps of a broken star catching fire
In their golden trail
I don't feel desire
Just the unlucky fate of falling
it's up to me to remember
They don't care but They are terrible in their demands
(so that you will not forget)
Before the flame
They were cold and whole
minding their own
How could this fall so quick
so over
Be their fate?

Dreams are made of this

My panties are wet
and my heart is full of murder

13 days ago I wanted to weep in dirt Pull my hair and wallow in the salted mud

I'm not mourning anything but myself
So you can just fucking relax.
Fuck.

FanMail or Everybody Loves Cheese!

If I were to lay my head down to rest  It would be on a bed of blackness  If I were to let my heart unfold It would be like a rose not afraid to grow old If I were to dream i'd dream of the sea laying down with me If I were to weep with sorrow only joy would I keep And if I were to wed it would be a be in a brown dress  made of leaves already fallen and stiff But If I were to fall in love I'd fall like a storm  sent by god to flood the world Then  if I were to build I'd build you a raft  sturdy and true  so that my love could carry you

This is the property of Xu Guan

I came upon a headless man today
Making his way
Upstairs
Step by step his shoulders trudged on
Curious I peeked into the collar of his thousand year old jacket
where his neck should be
Amazed to see
a galaxy
Staring back at me
Rainbows in swirling gases
requiems singing out out from dying planets
stars chasing their tails in infinitium
Dizzy from the vertigo in my good eye
I kept dreaming as I limped past him
Club footed and fancy free
Feeling fast and easy
Like you and me

Graduation

I meet myself standing in a field Feet torn from missing concrete Hair stuffed with new leaves I am green and I am wild And I am breathing deep Teeth showing I run in circles around myself   Howling in joy Arms calling the Wind  Daring the Sky Nothing is as fierce as I  And I myself am crying laughing and hugging only me  She won't be touched But I'm close so close

It is

I am in danger all day long
8 seconds away from getting my ass beat down
My hair pulled out
My ears shredded with all that
bleating and bloating
Never before have I realized
what an asshole I can be
And it's only when I'm feeling free
can't go back
can't give in
might flinch  run away
come back
make my way
And

the fear is gone
I will see through 
to the next dawn 
Not afraid anymore to wait
I know my life
whatever they say
Is in the fisted grip of fate
today tomorrow next life 
Not ever gonna know 
I just pray She won't let go
And 

For the days gone by 
I will step out from behind the lie 
I will keep the memory of us lit 
at the end of my cigarette
Believe you are best  
without a witness
draw your face 
when I'm faithless 
put your name 
on the guest list
And

I'm sorry I don't  say thank you the right  way  
because
This isn't ever going to end

It's the truth 
And
it isn't what you think 

Egghead

My heart is beating
keeping a pace with the engine
could be the caffeine
the bed of no sleep
but something is lurking behind the door

I can't stop gripping my pen
taking a picture with every blink
anything to stop the coming
but I can't leave well enough alone

there are no tears before death
nothing matches
no room in this bitter hollow for regret
nothing fits
just a rushing fear that can't quite grasp
it's about to hit
as the ground falls up to meet

Heart of a lamb

Freckles across her friendly nose
Eyes bright with a righteous
Joy from her place above ?
Her violence crushes our early morning commute into  the pain of waking 
We are none us  awake 

We chatted while she was demanding we all do something or other
I said 
Jesus freaks me out. I never asked him to take responsibility  for me
It is seriously passive aggressive

He's a bit of  an overachiever
I told him to take in the sights experience the body, travel - it changes everything, you know

I do.  I like how big it all is and I like being small inside it
Why won't she be quiet.. she has no
Mercy in her

She's scared lamb, try not to mind 
think of our chess game 
It would be nice if you played

Yes but I am not okay with losing every game 

It's just motion, nobody wins

but I am not okay.

I know.

So much sweetness it can't help but break my heart

Foggy city we zoom staight thru
You with your Elvis suit
Glittering under the moon
The water is high
Hiding underneath
Waiting for a fissure
To swallow our feet, 
Train, iphones ,pelvis,  and pleasure

I have a muffin in my bag for later

Incase the earth stays whole
I have two more for aliens should they invade 
Be prepared I was told

I sit with my hands in my lap 
And you shine the pompadour back
I smile because I feel like it
I wonder how you learned those fancy steps

If I could dream inside this dream 
People still like statues in funny poses
Ignoring our happy song 
And as we pass the moon on invisible tracks
Stars call out glowing
and popping the way fire cracks
So happy are they to see us.

Here in this dream we fly under the moon
Still the car is full to birth with her
We nuzzle next to strangers drinking their coffee and sugars
It is at least a 20 minute commute
And I can hear the timer ticking

Suddenly I'm grasping your polyester blend in white
holding on real real tight
But you keep slipping away and away
Water up to my breast
You are singing 
uh huh, uh huh, ah hey hey

Make a Wish

Wild eyed hunchbacks dragging treasure 
beside princes with their collars up
Dark eyed fairies effortless in their wee splendor 
while the roar of red dragons fly past piercing my blood
I live in a magical world
Loud  goddesses push me aside
Pet me
And friend me on Facebook
Towers that I will never see inside of 
mark my way
The taverns hold witches drained of love
 searching for hungrier strays
And I walk into the world 
Secrets living happily under bear coat

Philosophers praise me as I cut their hair
Invisible men grab me by the throat
Pied pipers tell me I think too much
While crazies run as I serve booze to rapists and murderers
I am happy to take your call 
Of course I remember you 
faceless voice most of all

That's me
The liar
My magic lies in the tales you spin 
I will make you believe your own mouth
It's a nifty trick and you will always win
I'm a star fallen
Sharing a dying glow
so that you can feel at ease 
Before you go
to take your Pleasure in this 
The magical World

Crux

On my back 
All my ancestry
Documented polarized shrouded
Carried for further honor
Without the promise
Upon death
to become an ancestor
Faith for what I ask as I chew the ropes
You are nothing but floating dirt
Breathable ash
I'd rather remember my dead cat
than be framed by all your suffering
And I fold like a pink slip 
dirty with the shame
At my age
How silly to be rebelling
It's true I would fight to save you
But it's late and I'm  already dying
I'll just kiss the envelope and set it ablaze 
as it floats away

Morning to night

Tear thru me with  ice
 I bleed out
but if you stayed too see 
I only  never die

It is frightening to be 
the last one left alive
 in a bright room
 only you 
before
there were 

I can see standing 
waking I am
Blind
crippled by the light

Bathroom havoc
Graces never granted
I will scream in your face if you bring her here
Did you think

 put on a skirt dear
 Stuck in this frame
 Dying this way?
I am not asking 

 witness to the end of your play 
Well done young leviathan
Demolish all that you see
 rats and booze and heredity

year of the dragon 
we are great friends
 if I have to ride scales on fire 
I'd rather burn alive
Than pretend


Grab the hotel curtains
 beloved 
drop and roll   
The heart may smother 
Try to  breathe low 
 

Senorita Campanilla pide un deseo

Don't be so sad poppy
Look to brighter days
Even in winter
there is a light
reflecting off the gray
Smuggle  your sad fate
in a pillow
and cross state lines
Here and there
Beneath rust on fenders
You will see a shine
Forever is a myth
There is only today
And if she gives you a kiss
Don't wipe it away
My heart is tiny
 it's true
Know that in every lost shadow
There is a wildfire lit for you

Valentine

Maybe I  creep up on you 
like a sex starved mermaid 
who just found her legs
Stalk you back to the sea
and propose on my brand new knee
So my hair is dank 
and breath fish rank
I'm a magical being 
A fucking mermaid 

Say yes please and I will
Turn you into a dolphin 
and give you teeth
The shark of my dreams

We will cross the world  
Invisible and constantly fucking
Wait for  bubbles to pop 
so we can hear our giggling
Visit our folks 
on their big gay cruise 
love under trains on bridges 
Me the mermaid you the muse

SWF

No one is impressed
I've made no wave
Great love lives in another room
Not dirty not pure
Not smart
Only sometimes stupid
 My place is 
In the middle
A marble lost
on an empty side street 
It's not dangerous here
and somewhat pleasant
Peaceful in an "you've already died" kind of way
It was hard to get here
though I was born with a middle brain
But I don't want to stay
Everyone else is on the high road or heading downtown. 
I'm fucking lonely
And I haven't cum once.

D student (Autumn House)

In my dream
I killed a girl
swimming in her gray school dress
sloppy pigtailed
hair haloed with lost strands
blind to the ribbons and their strict performance
she was not interested in living
or so it seemed
Maybe she was just sad
Anyway, I killed her
I chopped off her head and hid the body
Isn't that fucking horrific?
I started running up and down the stairs
between my guilt and freedom
between here and there
never learning my lesson
how could I murder
even if she was a sullen brat

when she came for revenge
she wasn't young or sad or mad
She was frail and old and smiling
in a yellow dress
still swimming between the fabric and the universe
her thick white curls
remembering heaven
I wanted to rest my head there
But I couldn't let her touch me
the burning would never cease!
I woke up stuck in fear
Now I wonder. would it?
would anything last forever.

Operation

Carrying around a big bag of sad
A sad bag
Lumpy and bumpy
And kind of wet
Can't remember where I picked it up
Or why I can't put it down
Only it's stuck so's that I forget it's there
For a little while
But I can  smile 
in a dark alley 
behind Xmas 
after the party
Return my arm and you can have this bag
Return my leg and I'll scrub it clean
So that sad shines like sorrow and 
tomorrow glistens like Steam
Return my head and I'll sing a song
A long sailors song with suicidal versus that go on and on
Return my fingers and toes
And I'll build you a model of Rio de Janeiro

And I'll dance with all my limbs
In the muck of today
Spewing gurgling and frothing
Like a bag gone mad
A big bag of mad
that's never no more sad